I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
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She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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