what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm at about main and main street
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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