ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize