I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize