I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize