I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize