I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
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Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
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Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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