Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
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Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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