First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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