He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
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Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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