Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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