hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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