He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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