I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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