How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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