And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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