She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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