At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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