What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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