i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize