So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
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In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
as a side note pls kill me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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