White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize