the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
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