Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize