Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize