that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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