Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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