I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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