And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize