My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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