The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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