I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize