2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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