Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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