Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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