There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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