6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
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I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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