i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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