Please don't use social media to get back at me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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