Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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