I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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