I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize