I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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