how do flat chested girls get laid?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize