Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize