Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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