Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize