I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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