Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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