Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
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You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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